this year
by Marla
I want to devour my favorite books again, fuck
the ones I "have" to read because they will "dazzle" and
"compel" me, and anyway if I ever see "tour de force"
on another back cover I will throw up and die. I want to
eat more grains. I want to write poetry that consumes
my sadness, spins it into candlelit softness and homemade
truths. I want to bake cookies. I want to kiss the love
of my life with dry leaves on the ground; I want the leaves
to understand that falling doesn't have to mean hitting
the ground. I want to stop renting apartments. I want to
think hard about holing up in a cabin in the woods forever,
and then I want to stop thinking about it. I want to cry
at the front row of a Bon Iver show: for the agony,
I'd rather know. I want to buy high heels and not
wear them, I want to take photos and not post them, I want
to be right and not show it—I want to learn that some
things are best kept for myself. I want to keep things.
I want to let go only when I'm ready. I want to say
"let's go" almost always. I want take-offs and landings. I
want to be safe and brave at the same time. I want to quit
drinking but I probably won't. I want to write more
lists. I want to stop writing lists. I want to leave
room for surprises. Don't you? I want to leave spaces
blank. I want to leave a few boxes unchecked.
Your words are sweet and lovely Ms Marla. I have been a fan since I randomly encountered "Table for Two" in a random book place in my home town. Your Sunday Morning is my dose of fresh juice and pancakes. And yes, there's another soul who would want to leave some spaces blank. Happy 2014!:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, JoanMae! Have a great week and year ahead. :)
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