growing in

by

On Tuesday I won't be 26 anymore. But I will remember this year for everything it was, everything it brought, everything it meant. I will remember it as a year that wasn't exactly smooth or easy or light; I will remember it as a year that challenged and changed me in all the ways it was supposed to. I will remember it as a year of tough decisions, and a year of hard, honest work. Sometimes I will remember it as a year of questions, and sometimes I will remember it as a year of answers—and maybe a long time from now I will look back and understand that it was both. It had to be both. More than anything, I will remember it as the year I learned to fully trust in and rely on myself, which was huge and scary and surprising until one day it wasn't. For many years I had felt so much younger than I actually was, but on Tuesday, when I wake up knowing I am quite okay with the person I have become, I will feel exactly as old as I am, and it will feel nothing short of peaceful.